Wednesday, 3 May 2017

Meeting Those Writing Deadlines

I'm trying to finish up a 70k screenplay to novel assignment. It's a super boring book and I think I'm more than halfway through and I can't tell you what it's about.
But that's not my job though, in this case at least. I'm just adapting the damned thing.
Deadline's comin' up.
I watch +Supernatural as I type and I'm watching the season finale of season three right now.
And I was thinking that looming deadlines feel just like when your demon deal is up and the hell hounds are coming to get you.

And you begin to hallucinate as the deadline approaches and you're just waiting for that 'how far have you reached?' email.
And you're just trying your best to get as far as possible even though you know you won't finish on time.
And your muscles are aching, you're sleepy as fuck, you have no inspiration or motivation. Your fanfic is calling to you, you haven't had any time to do any marketing for your books, your life is basically at a standstill just tryna get through this damned assignment. And it's not even the only work you have.
So what is a girl to do?
I guess the only thing left is to go to hell like Dean Winchester did.
I have no answers. Only work, tiredness and franticness.

Saturday, 22 April 2017

Rihanna and Lupita Movie

So this picture came back from the archives and caused some excitement on twitter:
it was captioned: One for the History Books

p.s. My faves slay your faves.

And then somebody retweeted the tweet with this caption;
"Rihanna looks like she scams rich white men and Lupita is the computer smart best friend that helps plan the scans."
*scams I guess.
So of course Twitter jumped on that shit like Chris Brown on every song he can and it just started to snowball from there. Issa Rae offered to write it, Ava Duvernay to direct it, I saw someone else was down to produce it. Lupita was down to star in it if +Rihanna was. As of going to press, we still waiting to see if Rihanna is down.
So anyway, @XLNB wrote a dummy script for the 'movie' where Rihanna falls in love with the mark blah blah but they still steal his money. I was like, ugh, really? That script has been done 5769765431346476 times. I have another idea.
Wanna hear it?
Well you're going to hear it, whether you like it or not.
And +Rihanna if you're reading this, here are my references.
So here's my rendition of the Rihanna-Lupita movie.

Rain-check on the Last Dance

Rihanna is walking slowly, smoking a blunt lost in thought. She's just used up the last of her savings from the last job she had. Since President Trump took over the country it's been hard for an undocumented immigrant from Haiti to find work. She couldn't go home. There was nothing there for her. All her family died in the earthquake. She can't face her own country. If she's gonna die, she'd rather do it here, in New York.

She hears a sound behind her and looks back, hand on the switchblade she keeps strapped to her thigh. She hears a scream, high pitched, scared but angry too. It's coming from the other end of the alley and she creeps cautiously forward to peer into the pitch dark.
There is a group of people massed together from what she can see. They seem to be agitated, moving around and struggling.
"Leave me alone you bastards!" a female voice screams from the thick of the group of people and Rihanna can't help herself. She steps forward. Coming closer, she can see that it's a group of five men, and one girl. 
Three guesses what they're trying to do to her.
Rihanna fishes out the 9mm she keeps in her bra and points it in the air.
"Leave her alone!" she shouted and let off a shot.
The cowardly men took off, leaving a small shape huddled on the floor. Rihanna stared at her.
"You okay?" she asked taking a step back.
The girl looked up at her with the most luminous big eyes Rihanna had ever seen, "I'm fine." She said, "Thank you."
Rihanna reversed direction stepping forward and reaching her hand down, "I'm Rihanna" she said.
"Lupita" the girl replied.
"Pleasure" Rihanna said helping her to her feet.
"Yeah, very glad to meet you as well."

Eventually the girls exchange stories; Lupita tells Rihanna about getting thrown out of home when her mother walked in on her passionately kissing her best friend...Amanda. Rihanna tells Lupita about stowing away on a red cross boat after the earthquake in Haiti and ending up in New Orleans. How she'd come to New York for a job but once Trump took over, the owner had tried to blackmail her into having sex with him in return for not reporting her to the authorities.
They live together, survive together; coming up with more and more creative ways to make money. As they manage to stop living from hand to mouth, they move up from petty theft, to breaking and entering, to scam artistes. Lupita is a whiz with a computer and Rihanna can talk anyone into anything. They make a fantastic team.
As their hit list gets bigger and bigger and several big shots are affected, a task force is formed to catch them because how dare the poor rob the rich. One of their targets, Anders McCaulicolkin, turns out to be a police plant. He was sent to entrap them.

Rihanna was really excited about this mark because unlike their average idiot, this one was bloody good lookin'. She approaches him at a party, gets his number and they begin the dance of seduction and manipulation. Lupita is inexplicably hostile to this guy. She doesn't like how much Rihanna is enjoying the job. Rihanna tries to find out what's bugging her partner but she won't say. Lupita channels her feelings into finding out more background on Anders and just after rihanna finishes clearing his account out and transferring the money to their holding account in the Caribbean island of Barbados...Lupita discovers that he's a plant.
She frantically tries to get hold of Rihanna but she's already left for the rendezvous point. If the money is tagged like Lupita suspects it is, it means one of their accounts is blown, and Rihanna is exposed.
Lupita always stays in the background but she breaks her cover to get to Rihanna before the cops do.
"Lupita this isn't the plan!" Rihanna tries to exclaim as she follows Lupita at a dead run through the maze of streets she's leading her through.
"Yeah well..." Lupita said, "If they caught you..."

"If they caught me what Lupita? We would follow the protocol" Rihanna complained.
"I couldn't let that happen" Lupita breathed as she rounded the corner to the garage which housed one of their cars.
"Why not Lupita?" Rihanna demanded getting in her face, "At least one of us coulda gotten away cle-"
Her words were stopped by Lupita kissing her, very hard. The darker girl moved back.
"I can't live without you Rihanna. Better to die together than-"
"Rihanna covered her lips with her hand before she could say it, "Don't even think it" she said her heart pounding, "Let's go."
They get in the car and drive. But the police find them and chase them over three states. Eventually they get to Texas and drive with everything they have, heading for the border. The police cut them off. They veer off and find themselves over the canyon with Trump's border wall dividing the river beneath into Mexico and USA.
Lupita and Rihanna look at each other, breathing hard.
Rihanna reaches for Lupita's hand. She takes it. Rihanna's foot bears down on the accelerator as the cops array behind them and they drive off the cliff.
But the car has undergone certain modifications....
Rihanna presses a button and voila, a parachute opens.
The car rises above the wall and goes over it.
They're in Mexico.
They set the car down on the other side of the wall and drive until they run out of fuel. Then they hitch hike their way to the very tip of south America where they live in a house on the beach in a non-extradition country. Slowly, they begin to siphon their money out of their accounts and redistribute it to others. They also contribute to local charities, planned parenthood and Chance the Rapper's bid for Chicago Mayor.
The movie ends with them holding hands as they walk into a fertility clinic where they intend to have a baby together using Jesse William's sperm.
And they lived happily ever after with their seed. Doing good and repelling evil with the power of their brains and their beauty.

Thursday, 13 April 2017

Challenges of Ghost Writing and Other Stories

Ghost writing is hard.
Don't let anyone tell you different.
People approach me to 'show them how to freelance' all the time because they think that it's something you can just whip up in your spare time for some extra coins. But really, it's hard.
First of all you have to be self-motivated; there's nobody looking over your shoulder to make sure you're actually working so it's all up to you.
Of course deadlines help.
At least they help me; I hear some people feel nothing for them. More power to them.
But mostly the thing with ghost writing which sticks in my craw is the lack of freedom to take a story where it wants to go.
I miss my old client.
He used to ask me to propose a storyline, and then write it. No trying to control the narrative except for certain rules like, "Make it BBW" or 'It's a billionaire romance" but otherwise, knock yourself out. And still, it was stifling.
But now I have two separate stories to write; one involves converting a screenplay into a novel. Yeah I wrote that the right way around. Trust me it's a little bit of hell. Especially since the screenplay is superboring. I have to take that, make a story out of it and of course the deadline is tight as fuck.
The second one is a super hero story about a fifteen year old deaf Ethiopian girl. It might sound fun, but it's really not. Plus the client wants to control every single detail. It's making the inside of my brain itch.
The things we do for money.
 It also brings about the most severe case of procrastination I've ever had. I have to force myself to write 400 words; and that can take me all day. It's way below my usual daily word count.I can't seem to slap out of it.
Meanwhile, my own stories are languishing, neglected; while I get all these calls for submissions in my email. I haven't updated any of my stories since February and it makes me want to cry real tears.
Like from my eyes.
I feel like I'm just the worst organizer in the world. I feel like I should be able to do it all if I was a better time manager. I know I would be able to get at least some things done if I was. And I know, I know, time management is something you can learn; hone with practice...blah blah meh.

Eddie Murphy's brother died yesterday. His name was Charlie Murphy and he was a comedian too. How did I not know that? I remember him from that "Salute to Eddie Murphy" event when he said that he grew up with Eddie not knowing he would be the GOAT of comedians but that he should have realised when Eddie told him that his nose looked like 'A Black Power Salute'. Me and my son laughed for ten minutes straight because yeah, his nose did kinda look like that.
I didn't realize he was in the comedy business too.
Anyway, he died yesterday.
Of Leukaemia.
He was 57.
He's actually the handsome brother.
Another person who is quite well known in the Kenyan public died last week of cancer as well.
Janet Kanini Ikua.
She was a TV presenter of this show a while back, called Out and About. In it, she visited various tourist destinations in Kenya. I visited vicariously with her on every episode. Then when she got cancer, she was this huge inspiration for survival. She was declared cancer free at some point and then suddenly she was dead.
She was just 39.
Her sister and I were in the same class in primary school and she and my sister were in the same class. It kind of hit me in a personal way because of that; how short life is. But I already know how short life is so I was also like, typical, of course she died. I only knew her in passing but I remember that she always had a smile for everyone. I guess that's just how life goes.
Remember that there's no time for existing. You better be living.

 Well today is the day that I stop procrastinating and get some work done. So Imma do that.
In a minute.
Y'all going to see Fast 8 this weekend? My son and I have seen every movie since the first so that's a yes from us. Life is too short not to enjoy it while you can.

Thursday, 6 April 2017

When They Ask Why You're Single

Man: Women only want a man because of his money. (This is an actual Twitter update).

Me: I'm not interested in your money, what else you got?

Man: ......

Me: Okay let's start small, you got good hygiene?

Man: Umm, I brush my teeth once a month. Shower maybe...once in two months?

Me: Uhh, yeah okay how about your looks, rate yourself?

Man: I'm a solid 4 and a half.

Me: Personality?

Man: What?

Me: You an intelligent dude?

Man: I can discuss Man-U scores like all day dewwd.

Me: How about jokes? You got jokes? I'll take jokes?

Man: Uhhh....

Me: How's the dick? Is it bomb?

Man: It's aight.

Me: According to who?

Man: Me.

Me: Can you at least kiss well?

Man: Kissing for what?

Me: hmmm, okay then...Imma go now.

Man: Women are such man-hating bitches!

Now go read Maureen's post.

Sunday, 26 March 2017

What's Up With Y'all and Sex Trafficking Kids?

Hi! Tired of me yet?
Visited my book page yet?
Today I want to talk about human trafficking and human rights. In the last two years or so we've been talking about Nigerian girls abducted by Boko Haram. And now just this past week, we've heard about the epidemic of missing black and brown girls in Washington DC. At last count (that I saw), 28 girls are still missing from as young as 12 to about 28 and their cases are yet to be resolved.
You notice how their pictures all look like mugshots? Is that an accident?
According to police, it's not that there's been a rise in missing girls but that they're now using twitter to highlight the issue and therefore it seems like there's more. But some of the cases are old. There are also boys missing. The number is much less ( I counted five) but still, they deserve to be mentioned.
These are of course not the first girls to go missing. When I was in Uganda at the turn of the millennium, Joseph Kony and his rebels regularly took girls from their homes. It was a well known fact and nobody was the slightest bit moved about it.
Y'all the girl child just means absolutely nothing.

I also saw that movie/documentary about how girls are abducted from Russia and Ukraine with the promise of a "better life in America" and then they're trafficked as sex slaves. In India, girls as young as twelve are "married off" by CATHOLIC PRIESTS to sex tourists. When the guy is tired of the girl he just simply abandons her. The worst part is that, it's their parents who sell them off.
+Jada Pinkett-Smith did a documentary with CNN detailing how girls are trafficked inside the United States by men who lure them away simply by giving them the attention their parents or guardians can't give them. Of course I can't relate to this because I'm an African and African parents just don't do attention. That's what you have 2000 siblings for.

So, now that we've established that human trafficking is a worldwide problem and that slavery is alive and well, what are we going to do about it?
Human Traffickers are not ghosts, they live somewhere, store these girls somewhere, use someone's transport, get these girls across borders somehow...And their clients - they find them somewhere right? Jada's documentary showed that a girl's "pimp" had as many as 50 people in one day coming to take their turn with some hapless thirteen year old who thought he loved her. Where and how do these 50 people A DAY hear about this girl? Why isn't there a whole unit in every police force dedicated to going undercover, getting these girls out and finding them somewhere to go; hope for the future?
It's just a question.
but I'm asleep tho...
I feel like sometimes the obvious answers are in front of us but we choose to ignore them in favor of some convoluted nonsense that serves somebody's interest but is clearly bullshit. I saw on twitter that NYPD officers were arrested for being pimps...(Imma just leave that there as a point to ponder).
Speaking of things that are obvious I saw today on CNN that Saudia Arabia is financing the war in Yemen which has been going on for three years. That country flies under the radar huh? It seems to be involved in every little thing that's wrong with the Middle East but nobody ever turns the spotlight that way. Also it never features in travel's really what's-wrong-with-this-pictureish.
Okay that's enough politics for a Sunday. What you all up to?

Saturday, 25 March 2017

The Trials and Tribulations of Being A Freelance Writer

So in February, I went two weeks with no work to do. It was a stressful time for me because I don't do well with idleness, however exhausted I was from working back to back jobs. It's one thing to decide to take a break, it's another to be forced to do it because you can't find work.
Am I right?

I tried to use my time positively, caught up on some writing. Made some progress with Cinderella by Any Other Name and my other, as yet really named gay African post-apocalyptic romance. I even wrote a bit of Child of Destiny: Marcus Devereux. It was fun, I enjoyed it. At the same time, I was experiencing terrible anxiety about not having paid work.

So I tweak my profile on my freelancing site, realize I'd set my availability to less than 30 hours a week so I immediately change that to 'looking for new work' and voila. My inbox gets full again. Which was a relief because I was beginning to think nobody liked me. Or that my work was bad which is a really unfortunate thing for a writer to think.
If you're not confident in the quality of your work, you can't sell yourself to potential clients/readers. You literally cannot function without belief in your work.So it was all internal lectures and 'You can do it girl' and trying to believe that that's true.

The opposite thing to wondering if no one likes you though, is not being able to say no to anyone who shows the slightest interest in you. It's like, "Oh thank God, you want me? Yay. Okay."
Even though you might be taking on too much or the work is not really something you want to do; or you just know this client is going to be a pain in the ass but money...or the deadline is ridiculous and nobody in their right mind... I might be doing that right now.
I vowed during my forced holiday that I would find a better work/leisure balance. But I can already see myself falling into the work 24/7 mode.

My friend just had a baby.
I'm so excited for her and want to go see her; but I found myself thinking, "Maybe I can push that to some time in the middle of April after I've finished this batch of work."
The gag is, there's always a new batch of work and you really can't take the time and...
So no. I'm gonna pick a day THIS WEEK, put the work down and go see my friend.
I'm also taking time daily to update my "What if" fanfic if you're reading that. I find it helps to pass the time until Shadowhunters season 2b starts in June.
And I'm giving my books some attention, trying to bring something new in front of potential readers daily. A tumblr or instagram post, an excerpt, something.
Would you like an excerpt?
Here's one;

Wednesday, 22 March 2017

The Benefits of Writing Fan Fiction

Do you read fanfiction? I love to write it. When I'm stuck in a plot hole, not knowing where to go, I put my work aside and write me some fanfiction. Not only is it super fun, but apparently it actively grows your creativity.
True story.
Your brain develops new neurons or some shit like that. That's the technical term beeteedubs. Quote me.
Anyways, I know I've been MIA.
Sad! Terrible.
But work is really kicking my ass.
So here's some fanfiction for you to read. After you've finished, visit my book page too and get you some more stories.

What If.... (4369 words) by amusawale
Chapters: 4/?
Fandom: Shadowhunters (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt
Characters: Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Camille Belcourt, The Clave (Shadowhunter Chronicles) - Character, Madzie (Shadowhunters TV), Jace Wayland, Clary Fray, Simon Lewis, Raphael Santiago, Iris Rouse, description of dubious consent but not between Malec
Additional Tags: tries to break malec up, Power Couple, fear of power couple, Conspiracy
So Malec are together, happy and in love. Magnus lives with Madzie 'until they find a permanent home for her', and Alec helps out, like a lot, when he can, which is often. It's not like they're a family or anything, except for how they are.
But every paradise has a snake and when the High Warlock of Brooklyn and the De Facto Leader of the New York Shadowhunter Institute get together, well...That might just be a little too much power concentrated in one place for some people's peace of mind.
How to separate them though? How to break up this alliance once and for all?

Sunday, 5 March 2017

Of One True Pairings and Politics

So I've recently become obsessed with +Shadowhunters TV .
Correction: So I've recently become obsessed with #Malec on Shadowhunters. For those of you not in the know, this is a sci fi series about half angel, half humans guardians of us all. So this is #Malec

I thought about just posting the one but I can't help myself.

They're just such serious EYE CANDY!

Just so cute.
But that's not why they're my new ultimate OTP. Oh no, the visual aesthetic is great but it's the relationship that just makes you feel all warm and mushy inside. I highly recommend it as a lesson in how to write romance in TV.
Well, in addition to sharing my new obsession, this post does have a purpose.
Yes, I do have a point.
What's my point again?
Oh, yah well this week, eonline is having a poll about TV's best couples and #Malec is nominated (go vote for them) and they made it to the final two (go vote for them); they actually beat out Jamie and Claire from Outlander and that is a real fete considering how rabid Jamie and Claire fans are. I hear that they are so convinced +Sam Heughan and +Catriona Balfe are together IN REAL LIFE that they're not above threatening anyone they suspect to be a significant other coming to spoil their fantasy.

Anyway, mental health issues of fans aside, Malec made it to the final two. And they're competing against another gay couple known as skam. Now this skam couple is like the whitest white boys who ever whited. Furthermore, they're twins.
Not in real life of course.
But in the TV program that they act in, they're twins who are in a relationship.
According to twitter that is, I haven't actually watched the program.
Anyway, so this perfectly innocent online poll has turned into a battle between "good" and "evil".
On the one hand, according to twitter or more specifically Malec stans, we have the Trump twins, who began their relationship by cheating on someone, who have an unhealthy, incestuous relationship and apparently whose actors are racists.
A healthy biracial relationship with the most beautiful looking couple you ever did see.

When the feud started, Malec was losing 30-70 which Malec stans were finding hard to believe was accurate. So the argument became that the other white boys' fans were cheating. I don't know how, but they were.
What bemused me was how seriously y'all take this shit.
Like, the online poll has somehow become a metaphor for everything that's happening in the world right now. There is no more entertainment or fun. Everything is serious as fuck, and an eternal battle of us vs. them.
I love Malec, and I'm voting like mad but I think everyone needs to relax.
Okay, I know, big mistake, telling people to relax.

It's been the week for that though hasn't it what with the +Oscars calling out La La Land instead of Moonlight. So the whitest cast ever, was replaced by the blackest on stage and everyone saw a metaphor. Was it a deliberate attempt to subvert the cause of black movie making or was that accountant too busy tweeting about wotsername from La La Land to make sure they had the right envelope? It didn't help that Barry Jenkins had to share his Variety cover with the director of La La Land just cause. I was simultaneously very pissed for Moonlight because it takes some of their unbridled joy away when you have to sympathise with the other movie that had to give you YOUR Oscar back, and just annoyed at how the whole thing was handled by everyone else. However, I'm also glad because Moonlight is getting a whole lot more attention and so are the three brilliant young men who played Chiron. This is actually the only best picture winner that I've ever actually seen (I saw it on the day after that Oscars fiasco).

In other news happening this week, have you heard #sheETHER yet? Remy Ma was kickin' ass and takin' names and Nicki was just annihilated. Now I'm a big advocate for using your words, as well as not a fan of bullies so I had to applaud Remy for using hers to very effective effect.

I ghost wrote a reply for Nicki since she seems unable. Probably she has no dirt on Remy and the one thing she could say about her (I do better numbers than you) Remy already addressed in her dis track. So here's some barz for you +Nicki Minaj.
Lounging in my gulfstream.
Sipping on my lean.
Listening to these bitches is my SONZ,
tryna come for me.
How you gon' hate from outside the club Remy?
You can't even get in?
Your money too low and your fans is ghost,
writer you say? let me see some receipts,
can you get receipts from Foxy's vagina,
you spreadin' rumors...,
I got figures, hourglass so what if it's
plastic surgeon, Nasiff...only thing poppin is my album bih,
Meek Mill stay taking L's you believe him?

Gotta go cause I got Beyonce callin'
me, the Queen of Rap.

I should probably stick to writing books.
Here's a preview.

Monday, 20 February 2017

Proof That The Book Series, Child of Destiny Is Exactly What You Are Looking For

Don't take my word for it; see for yourself;

Book one, Child of Destiny Series:


 Book two, Child of Destiny Series:


 Book three, Child of Destiny Series


Thursday, 16 February 2017

Let's Talk About Dubious Consent

When I was doing my Higher Diploma in Counseling Studies, I chose as my dissertation a topic that is close to my heart;
The Effects of Child Sexual Abuse on the Adult Survivor.
It was crazy because I went into the topic thinking that it was just me who was molested as a child. As part of my study, I interviewed various women (and men) about any experiences they might have had to do with molestation and how they're coping as adults. My sample population were my friends, neighbors, friends of friends...basically anyone who had a childhood story they were willing to share. As students of counseling there might have been some cheating because a few of my classmates knew of suitable candidates for my study and sent me their way. But the majority of my subjects were just randoms. For example, this one day I was sitting down with a group of girls my son had introduced me to. He used to come home and say he was playing with f%^&*@ma and I thought this f%^&*@ma was another kid. Turns out she was a grown ass adult and we became friends too. So I was sitting in her house one day and so were various girls from the neighborhood. I told them a few stories from my study and you know what? Every single girl in that room had a story for me.

Let me be clear.
When I say child sexual abuse, I'm not just talking about full on rape. I'm talking being kissed by a full grown man when you're a kid, fondled, touched in the bad place, having your boobs squeezed, pushed down and being forced to make out by someone's who's "trying to be your boyfriend"....Every situation where somebody with more power than you has forced you to go further than you are comfortable with.
What I came to learn is that every girl, and quite a few guys, have a story when it comes to being sexually molested. I thought I was alone but it turned out I was just one of...everyone.
What happened to Mya in the beginning of Child of Destiny is a product of some of that painful reality. It's a realistic depiction of what happens with dubious consent. I've heard this same story more than once, happening in just this way. It's not my story, it's everygirl's story.
So I do understand sometimes when people say to me that it's too hard to read.
Nevertheless, I felt that it's a story that deserves it's own spotlight. Shine a light on that shit and maybe start a conversation.

Today I got an email from my publisher telling me that Kobo had banned my book, Child of Destiny, because it contains dubious consent. I get it, some things you just don't want to face.
It's still available on amazon, iTunes, Barnes and Noble, Google Play and Smashwords.

Join the conversation.

Tuesday, 14 February 2017

Playing Around With Design

As an independent author, it is important for me to keep expenses down. To that end, I gathered my art education around me and designed my own book covers.
Oh sorry, hello.
How are you doing?
Are you as mad as me that Rihanna didn't win any +GRAMMYs? I am upset. 
Anti is a masterpiece.
And Beyonce!
Man I don't even like her like that but even I know that Lemonade was some ground breaking shit. For them to give her 'best contemporary urban' or whatever that category is was an insult.
Hell the existence of that category is an insult.
She should have won something more significant. But Album of the Year should have been Anti's.
Anyway, I did not begin this post to rant...I am calm, and I am cool.

I was speaking very calmly about the challenges of being an independent author. And how I design my own covers since I have a background in art. Also I have never really liked any cover that anyone did for me except possibly one done by my brother-in-law. He took my suggestions and synergied the hell out of that bitch. But...copyright issues with one of the pictures means I can't use it.
Oh do you like my new wallpaper?
So today, I had some time in my temporary job (with unlimited internet access) and I decided to play around with some social media posts. It's Valentine's day after all, the day hallmark designated for gift giving on pain of epic sulks. Why not join in the madness?
To that end...

You like?
Good. Go buy it for your boyfriend/girlfriend/self. Click here and lose yourself in some madness. It will help mask the disappointment of unmet expectations.
I also did a more cynical one for those of you, who like me, feel absolutely nothing for today except that it's a great excuse to eat chocolate.
What do you think? It might be too busy or cluttered. However, it's the message that counts and you know Child of Destiny is worth drowning your Valentine's Day sorrows in. Better n' alcohol...and no hangover. Maybe a boner. I've been told I write soft porn.
You know sex is part of life right? I don't see how one can write about life and avoid talking about sex, betrayal or lies.
I also did a cute lil' video to remind you that Between Death and Heaven became In the Shadow of the Styx
Admit it.
It's cute as fuck right?
And lastly in my own fucked up version of show and tell is an EXCERPT! Yaaaaaaayyyy!
Remember I told you I was writing a gay African post-apocalyptic romance? Here's a sneak peek.

Chapter One: Denial isn’t Just a River in Egypt

They trudged through a particularly muddy portion, shoes dragging in the sludge-like terrain, heads hanging low as the sun shone on their uncovered heads.
“Shit. Water.” Andrew mumbled. He did not have enough energy to articulate himself any clearer than that.
Zawadi stopped and glared resenting him for making her raise her head to answer him, “Yes well…what else is new?”
Andrew clicked his tongue as he shot her a nasty look, “Always so snappy Zawadi. Maybe you need to get laid.”
“I would if I wasn’t travelling with a couple of homosexshuls.”
“One of whom is your brother so show some respect.” Andrew snapped playfully.
“You said it.”
“Okay okay”, Kevin physically pushed himself between the two of them, “enough. We’re all tired and thirsty and energy’s running low. There’s nowhere to stop in sight so we have to keep walking. How about y’all save your energy for putting one foot in front of the other?”
Kevin was way thinner than Andrew who still managed to maintain his muscled athletic frame in spite of the diminished circumstances in which they found themselves. He had the body of the rugby player he’d once been when the world still had rugby teams. Kevin on the other hand was a product of his genetics. His father had been a Scandinavian runner who had come to the Kenyan coast for holiday. There he’d met a young Maasai woman who stole his heart. Kevin was the result. Tall as berserker with the runner’s body of both his mother and father’s people.
Two years later, his mother had Zawadi by a Muslim man she was shacking up with. Kevin’s father was long gone by then nothing but a dog-eared photo for them to remember him by. Zawadi’s father stuck around for a bit longer before he too moved on. One too many rude comments about Kevin’s ‘deadbeat dad’ and him following in his father’s footsteps had their mother fed up to here. She threw him out on Kevin’s fourteenth birthday. Best birthday present he ever got. Zawadi wasn’t too pleased though. And who could blame her? He was her father. And say what you would about him, but he doted on her.
Kevin and Zawadi didn’t talk for three years after he left.
That had been twenty years ago when the world still kind of worked. People had jobs, professions, went on holiday, and played sports. Then one day, an asteroid hit the earth and all hell literally broke loose. And now here they were, trekking in the Sahara desert. Three refugees from the apocalypse trying to make it in this travesty of an afterlife.
Eight days.
That’s all it took to turn the earth into a bleeding husk; a mocking remnant of the planet it used to be.

“I’m tired. Let’s stop here”, Zawadi said not half an hour later.
“No. We gotta keep going. Another day and we’ll be out of water.” Kevin replied.
“So we’ll dig! There’s water under the sand, we just have to siphon it to the surface.” Zawadi said much to Andrew’s amusement.
“Siphon it? Great idea Indiana Jones. How exactly do we go about doing that exactly?”
Zawadi just glared at him, and continued walking head held high.
“That’s what I thought”, Andrew murmured under his breath. But not so far under that Zawadi didn’t hear him. She whirled around ready to fight him but suddenly found herself in the air as Kevin slung her over his shoulder. He pointed back at his boyfriend.
“You. Shut up.” He said and then slapped Zawadi’s ass, “You as well smartass.”
He walked on, Zawadi growling at him to put her down as she ignored him. She was very tired and wouldn’t really have minded the ride but having her stomach pressed against Kevin’s bony shoulder and the gently swaying motion engendered by his stride was making her nauseous.
“Kev, I’m serious. Unless you want me to vomit on your shoes, put me down.” She said.
Kevin immediately lowered her slowly to her feet.
“Okay, walk in front of me.” he said pushing her a bit to get her to start walking. She turned around and stomped away, not sure if she was annoyed or relieved.
Andrew wisely kept his peace.
They walked silently for what felt like forever before Zawadi spotted what looked like a cluster of palm trees in the distance.
“Tell me you see those too!” she exclaimed, turning back to face her brother and Andrew.
Kevin squinted, “Looks like an oasis.” He said.
Zawadi whipped her head round to look at him, “So you see it too?” she said her tone urgent.
Kevin nodded slowly, “Yeah I see it.”
They stopped, staring at the oasis, waiting to see if it was a mirage or not. Then Andrew walked around both of them, at a fast clip, heading for it. They followed reluctantly behind. So thirsty. So ready for something good to happen.

The oasis did not disappear.

Opinions more than welcome. Hit me up in the comments.
While you're there, you might as well tell me what you think of this first, rudimentary cover.

Have at it! *Klaus voice*.

Sunday, 12 February 2017

Some Fun New Things Happening With My Books and Stuff

Did you see what I did there? Tryna get all creative with my titles? I don't know if I succeeded or I just sound like an asshole. A +Kylie Jenner type asshole too.
Speaking of Assholes, +Jared Padalecki just posted some hapless maitr'd's pic on twitter because the man was a #horrible asshole to him. Now I'm not disputing Jared's claims but I mean...pot? meet kettle. You posted some guy's pic on your twitter, called him names, didn't even say what the guy did that was so bad...knowing full well that your army of fangirls were going to find him and harass the life out of him. I mean, maybe he was just having a bad day? Is it really fair to destroy someone on the basis of one interaction? Were there no other avenues to pursue?
I mean as human beings go, Jared is okay. I like him. But when you start setting your dogs on's not a good look.
Especially when he hasn't said a word about the biggest asshole of them all bullying an entire section of a country. But some Vegas waiter is mean to him and suddenly trigger fingers become twitter fingers. You can do better than that Jared. I believe in you.

The other thing that just happened is the Roc Nation Brunch which the queen attended.

That outfit mane. Only +Rihanna could imagine it and then make it look super-casz-typical-brunch-outfit-I-mean-what-else-am-I-supposed-to-wear? Of course now everyone thinks she's attending the +GRAMMYs forgetting that she's attended pre-grammy events before then stayed home on the night of, watching Bates Motel. But that's a political discussion for another day and there is much to cram in this post. Meanwhile I guess +JAY Z is too busy preparing for fatherhood second time around to call his tailor or stylist. +P Diddy meanwhile looking like he escaped from hospital to attend.

Also this picture makes me laugh because the 'fan' is giving 'face' while Rihanna is like *strained smile*.

Compare it with this one where it's her and Mel.

In other news.
Did y'all see the takedown of +Piers Morgan by her Magnificence, +JK Rowling? I really seriously do not understand why anyone would attempt to argue with a wordsmith by medium of the written word. It was embarrassing...for him. For me it was super epic. Can we do this daily?

She had all the words. I bow down.
Well, now I'm gonna transition from that wordsmith to this wordsmith. This is not self labeling. No less than three people have called me that...People who have read my writing.
So I have a few announcements.
First, two new stories are brewing.
The first one is Cinderella by Any Other Name. I'm really enjoying writing it now that it's muse is back. It's a Muslim, arranged marriage story and while I'm writing I'm hoping not to offend anyone; but also it's a story that happens so I guess people will just have to deal. It's actually quite romancy I find. The characters are fun to write and I think you'll like them.
You can actually download the bit I started writing for NaNoWriMo from here.
The second book is a post-apocalyptic gay African romance. Now who doesn't want to read that? I only see one problem. Finding cover models.
Maybe these ones?
Also in honor of the new cover and new name, the price of in the shadow of the styx is coming down to $0.99. Don't know for how long so if you've wanted to buy it but don't feel like paying full price, now's your chance.
Guess what else is coming down!
The price of Child of Destiny!! You might have noticed, or not, that it also has a new cover. Check it out and see.